Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Curveballs

2 Nephi 8:7-8
"Hearken unto me, ye that know righteousness, the people in whose heart I have written my law, fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings.
For the moth shall eat them up like a garment, and the worm shall eat them like wool.  But my righteousness shall be forever, and my salvation from generation to generation."

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs at you.  I never really was that great at hitting curveballs with a baseball bat.. though I don't think God was really holding the bat with me while I was standing in the batter's box years ago.  But that's exactly what He is doing these days.  He is there with me every step of the way, walking side by side with me, helping me react to the changes in my life that come at me unexpectedly.  

All that He asks is that we remember Him in everything that we do, that we keep an open line of communication with Him, read His holy word, keep His commandments, and be good people.  Following those simple steps gives us the comfort, peace, and direction in our life that comes from God.  I hardly think that is too much to ask.  

So now as I go through the next few months of my life (I'm estimating now through spring) I will need prayers and friendship.  There's a lot on my plate, and I know that if I keep the Lord first in my life, I will see it through in the best manner possible.  So long as I'm receiving His direction, I will not falter, I will not fail.  The correct decision (or the best of many good choices) will be realized and made.  All it will take is faith and decisive action.  Time to make like Isaiah!

Monday, December 29, 2008

I shall not be ashamed

2 Nephi 7:7
"For the Lord God will help me, therefore shall I not be confounded.  Therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed."

That scripture really speaks to me the more I read it.  There is a lot of beauty in it if you really pick it apart.  Isaiah truly wrote a gem here.

It starts out with a statement of absolute faith, a testimony.  He doubts not that God will help him, and he understands that if God is on his side, it does not matter whom his enemy is, he will not be confounded because God will give him the strength he needs in his time of need.  There is nothing wavering about his statement.

Secondly he illustrates his stance.  He has "set [his] face like a flint."  When I think of that statement I think of flint and steel.  The flint takes a beating when being beaten upon steel to create a spark.  But that does not deter him from sticking his neck out (sticking his face out) to meet the oncoming foe (whether it be sin, or temptation, or anything really) because he knows that God will come to his aid, so really what does it matter what he is up against, he's throwing caution to the wind and putting his full trust in his God to provide safety for him.  Is there really a better display of faith than that?  Complete and utter trust?  I equate that to another example.  We've all been part of or seen the "trust demonstration" where person A stands a few paces behind person B, and person B does a free-fall backwards trusting that person A will catch them.  Well the amount of trust and faith in God that is shown in this scripture is much like that example.. however when it comes to trusting 100% in God, person A is invisible and intangible.  Try falling back THEN and think about how far you'd be willing to let yourself fall without catching yourself.  I can't think of many more illustrations of faith that would top that.

And finally this scripture is ended with power.  "and I know that I shall not be ashamed."  Think back to my example of the free-fall.  How embarassed would you be if you were person B, all of your friends were watching, and no one caught you?  Now think about how embarassed you would be if you fell infront of your friends, and there was no one visible to catch you in the first place (as in, trusting in the invisible and intangible person A).  You'd feel pretty foolish for having your friends watch you, just to fall infront of them.  But that isn't even a twinkling of a thought in Isaiah's thinking here.  Does Isaiah give second thought to whether or not his flint-face will make him look like a fool?  Not for a moment.  And I KNOW that I shall NOT be ashamed."  Nothing wavering.  There isn't a moment of doubt, no moment of "umm.. I hope he backs me up" none of it.  He knows.  He testifies.  He is empowered by it.

Are there times in our lives where we may think that we have as much conviction in Christ as we see Isaiah has, but when it really comes down to it, we put more trust in ourselves and our fellow-mortals to be our strength?  When we are afflicted by non-believers, do we rely on our own wit to confound them, or do we rely on the admonition of the Lord to simply continue being who we are and let our example speak for itself?  When we question things, do we simply rely on our own ability to find the answer, or do we ALSO ask the Lord for his guidance in acquiring knowledge and understanding?  etc...

I think the best way to think about all of this is to work on a personal relationship with God.  Isaiah obviously knew the Lord pretty darn well, why should we be so different?  The only reason one person may attain a higher level of understanding than another is application and humility.  The more humble you are, and the more you apply your faith and understanding to your life and the lives of others, the more it become a part of you, and the better you come to understand that being that gave you that faith and power.  Can you think of a better being to be your best friend than your God?  I certainly can't.  Maybe that's what we really need to do while we're here on this earth.  Befriend our God, our Lord, our Creator, our Savior, our everything.  If He's your best friend, there's nothing He wouldn't do for you, nothing he wouldn't stand by yourside and see you through.  Wouldn't your mortal best friend do the same thing?  Why wouln't He?

The Decade of Choices

2 Nephi 6:17
"...For thus saith the Lord: I will contend with them that contendeth with thee"

Oh so many mixed emotions right now.  Life has a funny way of revealing itself to you a little at a time.  There are no moments in your life where all of your big choices happen all at once.  Instead they spread themselves out and rear their ugly head usually at very inopportune times.  But what can we really do about that?  Well, nothing.  All we can do is react the best way possible within the time we are given.  So long as we keep an eternal focus on life, there really are no choices in life, no decisions to be made, that will really sneak up on us and catch us off guard.

I have a lot of things running through my head, just to list a few:

1) Mission - This is the biggest one as far as something I have zero idea what to think about right now.  Not knowing whether or not I'm even able to go really throws a kink into any future plans I may make for myself

2) Work - I love my job, but again this ties into #1 as far as I hate that I'll have to leave where I work if I do end up going on a mission

3) School - I do fully intend to finish my education, but again this hinges on a possible upcoming mission (notice a theme developing here? lol)

4) Marriage/Dating - I understand the eternal principle behind dating and how it prepares us for marriage, but it is commonly known that "we marry those we date" etc etc.. but if what am I supposed to do about it if I'm also preparing for a mission? I don't want to leave a girl for 2 years that I'm fully committed to, so what is the point of getting into anything serious at this point?  That being said, I'm not one to throw away something that I can see developing into something so amazing that it takes my breath away simply thinking about it.  (*sigh*)

5) Certain family members - I could write a novel on this one.. but I'm far too tired to delv into that right now..


I know, I know.. these things will all resolve themselves in due time, and I understand that.  So what I'm relegated to doing at this point is putting my faith in the Lord that my life will be sorted out the best way possible so long as I keep Him first in my life and continue to further my personal conversion to the Gospel and continue to make it a part of my life as opposed to something that I have to constantly remind myself of.  I am 100% convinced that if you make the Gospel a part of your life, to where living the principles of it are 2nd nature and not something that you have to continuously check yourself on, that all things in life will simply fall into place and in the best way possible.

So, for now, I'm focusing on leaving as many doors open as I can, and in continuing to strive to be the best person I can be, who I know He would want me to be.

Have a wonderful experience in Taiwan Sarah, I will be missing you.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Diets and Free Agency

2 Nephi 5:24
"And because of their cursing which was upon them they did become an idle people, full of mischief and subtlety, and did seek in the wilderness for beasts of prey."

I got thinking today (while cleaning the dining room at work.. yay having other people there who can handle the financials at CFA!) about "exceptions."  Why is it that we make exceptions to our own moral rules simply because we think we deserve it?  For example: When you're on a diet, and you feel as though you're doing really well on it, you rationalize "ooh, I've been doing really well on my diet for 4 months now, I deserve a brownie!"  What's the point of having that brownie?  You have gotten used to a new diet that does not include brownies, you have obviously found foods that satisfy you and don't taste like roadkill (or worse) for 4 months, and your body is responding well to the diet.  Your body doesn't need that brownie, you don't NEED to taste that brownie, you probably already know what it tastes like.. so what's the point?

The same can go for people who are giving certain foods/drinks up.  I'll use myself as an example.  I gave up soda a few months ago (2? 3? I really can't remember when it was), not just caffeinated drinks, but all soda inclusively.  And it really wasn't hard for me at all.  Obviously, not drinking soda is good for your body, but since I haven't really felt the "healthy effects" of not drinking soda, I'm simply going off of faith and common understanding that soda is bad, and your body is better off without it (not to mention your teeth!).  However, it being the Christmas season, there is plenty of soda around to be consumed.  So I said to myself one day "you know Greg, you've been really good about not drinking soda, and it wasn't hard for you to stop drinking it in the first place, and you KNOW how good root beer tastes, why not have a glass cuz it tastes so so good."  So I did.  And I really didn't think anything about it until later that evening I commented to my sister Amy about how I had given up soda.  And she, not knowing beforehand that I had done so, and not living anywhere near me since I had begun retorted "but didn't I just see you drink some root beer tonight?"  I defended myself with my rationale, but all she said was "but you just had a glass of it.. that's not 'giving it up'" (or something to that effect).

I dismissed her admonition at that point as nothing more than just her ragging on her little brother, but I got thinking about it today, and there really is a good principle to be learned here.
Re-read my previous paragraph about what went through my mind that led me to having the glass of soda.

1) I recognized something that was bad for me
2) I took a course of action to rid that from my life
3) I followed through with that course of action for a significant period of time
4) I found myself innocently surrounded by the thing I had forsaken
5) I rationalized that "just a little bit" was 'ok' because I had been good for a while
6) I acted upon that rationalization 

Now imagine if that weren't soda, but were something more along the lines of pornography.  That certainly paints a whole different picture now doesn't it?  Just one little "sip" means so much more when it's put in that perspective.  But really, are those 2 things so different?

Why do we not sin?   The answer SHOULD be "because it goes against our personal code of ethics and morals.  But sin vs righteousness isn't the only thing that makes up our code of ethics.  Each person's entire set of ethics is completely different, especially when it comes to non-sins that are simply minor tweaks to the way one feels they should live their life.  Like my decision to give up soda.  Soda is by no means a sin, Sprite tasts really good.  But no one will argue that it is bad for you.  Even the one instance where it may actually have some benefit (to help clear a raspy or congested throat) is done just as well if not better by soda-water (yay, no sugar/taste).  

As I've also learned from this, there is always (for the most part) a substitute for "soda" in your life (soda being used representatively here).  Whether it be music, movies, books, food, entertainment, whatever.  The things we choose to tweak our lives with always have varying degrees to them, and where we may feel that fine tuning ourselves one way may seem like the best idea, if we later realize that it wasn't necessarily the wisest decision, it is comforting to know that there is always a way to replace the part of our life that may be left void by ridding ourselves of the poor decision.

But also just as important is to NEVER EVER EVER let yourself succumb to step 6 in my analogy.  Step 5 is where Christ has given us the free agency to choose.  And choosing NOT to take step 6 is where we show Christ, other people, and ourselves who we really are.  We choose our standards, and we choose every day whether we are going to live up to our standards or sink to a lesser way of life.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Favorite Scripture

2 Nephi 4:27-30
"And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh?  Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul?  Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
 Awake, my soul!  No longer droop in sin.  Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
 Do not anger again because of mine enemies.  do not slacken any strength because of mine afflictions.
 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation."


I think that is now my favorite passage of scripture.  It's hard to replace what has been your favorite for years, but I do think it fits the bill.  That scripture just brings so much clarity to the way your spirit feels when you sin.  It's confused, it doesn't understand why you're doing what you're doing.  It sure as heck wouldn't willingly do what you just did, but because of the growing pains your spirit undergoes while getting used to a body, things happen that confuse it.  

Just as when you do things that are contrary to what your body (carnal self) wants to do, it feels awkward at first.  Thinking back to my first really spiritual experience, I felt differently physically than I ever had before, and it felt weird.  But it was a feeling that if I grow accustomed to, would be a wonderful feeling to always have.

Hopefully I can take this scripture to heart and be able to call on it in my time of need.  Be able to think to myself: "Why should I yield to sin? Because of my flesh?"

It really doesn't get any more black and white than that.


Another random thought that popped through my head that I'll probably write about later, but I'll jot down now...
If I'm preparing to serve a mission (well, if I'm allowed to), then why shouldn't I live like a missionary would live (as in, surround myself only with things a missionary would surround himself with)?
That would include not watching tv other than BYUtv, any non-church-related movies, wouldn't really change my music selection (current selection anyways), waking up early and being in bed as early as I could be, etc...
And if I don't go to the mission-extreme on everything, what areas would I be holding back on?  And why?

*ponders*

Merry Christmas

2 Nephi 3:24
"And there shall rise up one mighty among them, who shall do much good, both in word and in deed, being an instrument in the hands of God, with exceeding faith, to work mighty wonders, and do that thing which is great in the sight of God, unto the bringing to pass much restoration unto the house of Israel, and unto the seed of the brethren."

Yes, it's a bit late.. but I promised I would blog daily, so here is my blogging before I hit the sack!  the lateness is due to the INCREDULOUSLY long game of rook.. but yay, we won.. so all is well in the land of rookdom!

Today was a wonderful Christmas!  I "made out like a bandit" (to quote Sarah).  I'm hitting that age where the gifts that I get tend to be pretty much 100% practical, and it just so happens that I'm getting to the age where I pretty much 100% appreciate that.  The gifts that I received that come to mind (remember, it is 2am here...) are:

A wonderful overcoat
A framed list of Christ's names
A songbook for piano of 80 popular religious songs
A beautiful Fossil watch
2 books that explain the backstory of wonderful songs (hymns and christmas carols)
Some music that my choir will LOVE singing over the next few months
A wondeful picture frame that I can't WAIT to put a picture in
A gift certificate to Boi Na Braza (a restaurant that I've been dying to go to, but it's soo expensive!)

And most importantly of all (yay cliche's) is that I got to see more of my family at one time than I normally do, and I got to share in the spirit of Christmas with them.  Family really is where it's at.  They're the first to pick you up when you're down, and they're the first to cheer you on when you're on a hot streak.  And they do it all out of love, nothing selfishly.  That truly is a testament to me as to why the family is the central figure in the Plan of Salvation, and in Christ's gospel.  It's such a beautiful thing.

Well, tomorrow I go back to work, back to the daily routine (after a rousing round of frisbee golf with dad, dean and amy!).  Good night, and Merry Christmas! ('til next year).

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

"Small Lies" and Humility

2 Nephi 2:27
"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man.  And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself."

Pride has many faces.  The one that has been on my mind as of late: "small lies" that make you feel better about yourself, when in reality it doesn't matter.  To explain, I'll give an example:

Person A: "Hey bud, did you know that Texas is the second largest state in the US?"
Person B: [Though he did not know that prior to person A asking that question replies:] "Sure did!"

I know that's a very simplistic example, but I'm sure you can see how conversations such as that could develop.  Questions in the work place, at school, between best friends, even between acquaintances.  People have the tendency to try to make themselves look better in others' eyes whether it really will do so or not.  Use my example for instance.  Person A really doesn't care if Person B knows the answer or not, he simply asked.  If Person B didn't know it, that doesn't mean that Person A thinks any less of him for it, it simply means he didn't know.

I know this all seems silly to whomever may read this, but I think it's a good example of how even the smallest measurements of pride really can eat at one's sould.  A person that can't feel comfortable admitting they don't know inconsequential matters develops two things by being unable to do so.

1: A measure of distrust by others.  If someone can't trust someone to answer petty questions with honesty, how can they expect them to answer more important matters?

2: A measure of distrust in the Lord.  The only reason one would be prideful about "being a know-it-all" if you will, is because they don't trust the Lord's admonition of humility.  Being humble is the complete opposite of acting like you know everything.  Being humble means understanding your faults, and working on turning those faults into strengths with the help of the Lord (prayer and scriptures).

It is widely known that the best way to lead people, is to serve them.  And what quality best exemplifies servitude?  Humility.  

Is it not interesting that the same quality is the answer to both questions: How do you combat pride? And how do you best lead people? is humility?

Humility lets others know that you don't know everything, but that you're willing to learn and grow.  Humility is not weakness, it's not uncertainty, it's not feebleness.  In fact it's quite the opposite.  It's hard to be humble as opposed to prideful, it's hard to be "ok" with not knowing as much as you'd like others to think you know, it shows a measure of respect towards others when they know that you know that you don't know everything.  That others know that you know that the teams works better as a team, as opposed to 1 person having others executing duties.  (But I digress.)

Humility is one of the most underrated qualities that one can aspire to.  (Isn't that funny.. A quality that is widely regarded as an opposite of aspiration, is something we should aspire to acquire?)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Friends

2 Nephi 1:13
"O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe."

Today was the first time in a while I had gotten to spend with Stephen, Craig and Brock (since my new sleeping schedule went into effect, which I've been mostly good about adhering to).  It was really fun to get to spend some quality time with them, hopefully that will be less of a random thing, and more frequent in the coming weeks and months.  I really appreciate friends that last through the years, people that understand that even if people change, they are still worth someone's attention and kinship.

Although, I find it interesting that those who you are closest to, are often less influenced by you than others may be, because they've seen the many phases of your life and have your entire life-story to take into account when you tell them something "new" about you, or anything at all really.  That testifies to me now more than ever the importance of always standing for what you know is right and true in the face of adversity, especially if that adversity is coming from your best friends.  But that hardly means that it's too late to influence those who you care about the most.  As the cliche goes, it's better late than never - so long as you are unwavering in your conviction and testimony.  

And honestly, isn't that what the gospel of Christ is all about?  The ability to undergo a "mighty change of heart"?  So maybe, just maybe your friends seeing the "old you" and the "new you" could be the best thing in the long run, because they get to witness the change in you first hand, and truly see how happy it can make you.

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

Spiritual Breakfast

1 Nephi 22:31
"Wherefore, ye need not suppose that I and my father are the only ones that have testified, and also taught them.  Wherefore, if ye shall be obedient to the commandments, and endure to the end, ye shall be saved at the last day.  And thus it is.  Amen."

I've been pondering a lot lately on the importance of nourishment.  The body needs nourishment (both in food and in drink) in order to operate and function correctly.  Some people even devote their lives to the physical training and refining of the body, maximizing its lifespan and its ability to keep functioning at a high level for as long as possible.

Is it so different for our spirit?  Why is it that it is so easy to recognize the needs of our body (breakfast, lunch, dinner, exercise, cleanliness, etc) but not to recognize the needs of our spirit?  Is it simply because we see our body all the time?  Is it because others see our body and comment on it?  Or might it be that we simply don't recognize the fact that our spirits need just as much if not more attention and nourishment as our bodies do?

As mentioned in the first post of this blog, I have made a daily commitment to feed my spirit breakfast, whether my body has received its breakfast or not.  The first thing I do when I wake up is to spiritually feed myself by reading 1 chapter out of the Book of Mormon.  That way I make sure that I have paid my spirit its due attention, and it gives me something to ponder on throughout the day.  After my spiritual breakfast, I then pay attention to the yearnings of my body for food and drink - I can't think of a better way to start a day.  If doing my reading means that my body has to go without (due to time restraints), well then I think I have chosen the more important part of my soul to feed.  

The same really should be true for lunch and dinner (more scripture study), heck, even snacking (listening to uplifting music in the car?).  Also should be so for excercise (scriptural research?) and cleanliness (repentance?) as well.  Things that could easily be added to a daily feast of the scriptures could be church-related magazines, memorizing a hymn, playing a spiritual song on a musical instrument if you happen to be musically inclined, and many more things.  Hopefully I'll start adding a few more of these things to my list of daily activities.  Not that doing them only every once in a while is a bad thing, but think of how wonderful you feel when you do these things on occasion, and then think how much more wonderful you would feel if they were daily activities!

And the other thing that I have noticed about my daily scripture study is that it gets you thinking about the scriptures more often than you otherwise would.  And I think the biggest side-benefit (if you will) is that it gets you re-prioritizing your schedule (and ultimately your life) so that you make sure you are making time for the Lord, making time to feed your spirit.  For we are indeed commanded to FEAST on the word, not to merely read it.  Reading something is better than nothing, but just think of the imagery that the word feast brings to light.  When you feast, you devour something, you take in as much as you possibly can.  And you never think of something that tastes bad when you think of feasting.  No, you think of the best food imaginable.  For that truly is what the scriptures are for your spirit: The best food imaginable!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Queer

1 Nephi 21:13
"Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; for the feet of those who are to the east shall be established; and break forth into singing, O mountains; for they shall be smitten no more; for the Lord hath commanded his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted."

Being different, honestly, is an honor.  Even to the majority (if not all) of standard Christianity (let alone the rest of the world) I am somewhat of a very different person due to my belief system.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.  But that different view on life and what is truly important (and the way to go about doing those things) are worth nothing if they are only to feed one's "appearance to be different."

Which that in and of itself creates quite a quandry in my mind.  If someone is simply going to put on a show.. why would they pretend to be different, instead of pretending to be the same as people?  Cuz really, in the long run, it's much harder to pretend to be someone that isn't accepted as opposed to being someone that is accepted by the majority.  At least when you're someone that is widely accepted you dont have to continuously explain and defend yourself.  

If you're going to be different, then darn it - be different.  Don't fake it.  If being different is really what it takes to accomplish your goal, then be different.  If you have to fake it, what's the point?  Cuz the Lord looks on your heart, so if you're faking it - you're doing yourself no good even if it looks to your peers as though you are Peter Priesthood.

Be everything you're supposed to be, or don't be - there really is no reason to go halfway, either way.

The Joy of Hugging!

1 Nephi 20:9-10
"Nevertheless, for my name's sake will I defer mine anger, and for my praise will I refrain from thee, that I cut thee not off.
For, behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction."

Friends are amazing.  The ability to hug someone, and it be a sincere heartfelt hug.  A sign of kindredness and trust.  Of equality and togetherness.  The moment that a hug takes place, there is no pride found.  Neither party is "above" the other in stature or status.  A heartfelt hug between friends is never instigated out of pride, or out of any means that gains one favor in the eyes of others.  It simply is an expression of brotherly (or sisterly) love.  

I imagine that Christ loved hugging people, and did so often.

It reminds me of a song titled "In His Embrace."


toes in the water
sunshine on my face
how did i end up in such a heavenly place?
my smile is immortal
it feels good on my lips
free of doubt and free of any fears is what this is
how long has it been since i was here

in his embrace
safe from the cold
i was here all along
but my eyes were closed
and i see the light
it lies in me
and i'll do whatever it takes
to stay in his embrace

feet in the quicksand
moonlight dark and dim
beside a lonely picture of the place that i was in
well, i've learned a little lesson
from the fury of my past
the times you feel alone are ones when you forgot to ask
for his saving grace to bring

his embrace
safe from the cold
i was here all along
but my eyes were closed
and i see the light
it lies in me
and i'll do whatever it takes
to stay in his embrace

these arms i cannot see
but they encircle me

in his embrace
safe from the cold
i was here all along
but my eyes were closed
and i see the light
it lies in me
and i'll do whatever it takes
to make sure that i'll always stay
in his embrace

There are a few lines in that song that really get me when I hear it..
"the times you feel alone are the ones when you forgot to ask for his saving grace."
And the last few lines really get me choked up..
"And I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that i'll always stay in His embrace."

I love imagining what it would feel like to receive a hug from my Savior.  Is there anything that would parallel to that feeling?  I can't think of anything.  That's a good thought to go to sleep pondering on.  I think I'll do just that.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Refiner's Fire

1 Nephi 19:7
"For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet.  Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say, trample under their feet but I would speak in other words - they set him at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels."

Why are some commandments harder to keep than others.  I really don't understand.  Yes people are conditioned in certain ways during their upbringing, but what makes one sin more difficult than another one?  For example, one person may be completely chaste, pure, honest, trustworthy... but they just can't for some reason stop smoking or drinking.  Or another person may live the word of wisdom, go to church each week, pay tithing, be honest, etc.. but can't seem to live the law of chastity.  

What is it about one sin that makes it different from another?  Easier to deal with, harder to deal with, more or less pernicious, more or less mind-clouding, etc.  All sin is unacceptable in the Eyes of the Lord, so really, we are supposed to be making sure that we are void of ALL sin in our life.  We are commanded to "be ye therefore perfect."  But knowing that, why is it that we can't view one sin as easy to overcome as another?  

Yes I know that we are supposed to endure trials, and not all things are easy in life, and it's good that they're not.  But maybe that's the answer.  Maybe the reason that one or two sins may be more difficult to rid from our life as other sins, is that one we DO overcome the temptations of that sin (ideally) we are THAT much stronger because of it and that much more trustworthy in the eyes of the Lord, and that much more deserving of our gifts in heaven.  The character that is built within us that can only be developed by overcoming incredibly tough sins (at least for us) is something that can be obtained in no other way.

So, to be the best that we can be (which really is the only way we can show the Lord our thanks for what He did for us, being the Atonement and the Crucifixion/Resurrection) we must identify the commandments that we have the most difficulty with, and re-double our efforts to rise above and become a better person.  And the blessings we receive, the strength we receive, by doing so will be unparalleled in regards to any other blessings we may receive, if we truly to overcome our "sin of choice" if you will.

Remember who you are and what you stand for, always.

Prove Me

1 Nephi 18:16
"Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions."

Today was a good day.  

New goal for my life: Become more inner-driven.
Ongoing goals: Be humble, charitable, and loving.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Ever striving, enduring.

1 Nephi 17:3
"And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled.  And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness."

When I read that scripture today, it got me thinking back to my last institute class.  We briefly discussed the challenges we face as we take part in an "active religion."  There is a common sentiment (both in the church and out) that "once I finish [insert objective here] my life will be much easier."  But really, is that so?  Should that be so?

Some common sentiments are: "Once I finish school, life will be so much less stressful."  Or "once my mission is done" or "once I find my wife and get married" etc etc and so on.  But if you really think about it, none of those hold true.  Once school is over, you replace that with the even tougher challenge of starting and maintaining a career.  Once you finish your mission, you are faced with the challenge of life all over again.  Once you get married, the challenge of beginning a family is far more daunting than anything you face while your single.

Why is that?  Why is it that the more life we experience, the more challenging life becomes?  It seems as though the experience you garner throughout life should make life easier and easier as you've "been there, done that" already.  But it is not so.  Life only presents new and tougher challenges for you.  However, the Lord gives us some insight as to why this is.

Keeping the commandments of the Lord is not an easy task for the average person (heck, even for the well refined above average person).  No one gets a 100% grade in their "living the commandments class."  But by doing so, by doing your best to keep the commandments, the Lord strengthens you.  And by strengthening you, you are able to accomplish the things He has asked you to do (church callings, starting a family, providing for your family, wholesome daily interactions with people, etc).  But that seems like it ends there from just this verse of scripture.  Yay!  The Lord strengthened us!  We win!

Not so fast.  "Where much is given, much is required."  Dang it.  That's when we realize that by the Lord strengthening us, and that we truly have become stronger (by strength we have been given), we are now under contract to have more required of us.  Crap!  More responsibility, more challenges, more stress.  But why should we let that get us down?  We should be rejoicing in opportunities to prove to the Lord what we're made of, who we truly are when faced with adversity.  Are we going to shrink away from our responsibility to start a family, to be a good husband/wife, to settle for a job that "pays well enough" or to search out a financial status that will not only provide for your family, but also allow you to be charitable towards good institutions? 

Obviously, when one has reached a certain plateau in life, they then come to find that there is still more mountain to climb, and the top of the mountain always seems to reside in the clouds.  Does that mean we give up hope?  Does that mean our best effort isn't ever good enough?  It sure would if Christ hadn't atoned for our sins and our shortcomings.  That's where the wonderful grace of God meets us (and it meets us way more than halfway) assuming we truly have given it our BEST.  

Does God deserve our best?  Or is He not important enough for us to really give our life our best effort?  Should we simply let "the grace of god" do all the work for us, because really, why try our hardest if He's going to save us anyways?  That sentiment has never, ever made sense to me.  If Christ died for me, and atoned for my sins, so that I may have the ability to live forever, and the chance to obtain eternal life.. the LEAST I can do to repay Him is live my life as He asks me to (and really, is it such a bad way to live a life?).  And what has He promised us if we live our life the way He wants us to?  As Nephi stated, He will strengthen us (and He'll give us a whole lot more than strength, but that's for another discussion).  He will strengthen us so that we will be ABLE to handle the next challenge that comes our way.  

I'm always astounded when I realize that the happiest people that I know, are also the busiest people I know.  How can they still be happy with as much as they do throughout the day?  Well, they're used to their schedule, their routine.  They have been strengthened physically, emontionally, and mentally to be able to handle their busy lives.  Does that happen over night?  No.  It is a very gradual process.  It is the process of adding one thing to a life, mastering that, and then adding another.  Never regressing, always progressing.  It's a fascinating concept, but it's an eternally true concept.

I love the tender mercies of the Lord, and strength is truly one of them.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Carpe Diem

1 Nephi 16:2
"And it came to pass that I said unto them that I knew that I had spoken hard things against the wicked, according to the truth; and the righteous have I justified, and testified that they should be lifted up at the last day; wherefore, the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center."

I re-watched one of my favorite movies today, Dead Poets Society.  It is such a moving movie about siezing the day, about capitalizing on the moment, and living your life without putting off for tomorrow that which is truly pertinent to today, the here and now.  

Thinking back on this movie, I can't help but be reminded of President Monson's talk in the most recent General Conference about finding Joy in the Journey.  Don't put your happiness off until tomorrow, find things in your current life that make you happy and make life worth living, worth being joyful about.  Seize the moment, seize the opportunity you have today to make the most of your life right now.  Waiting to "be happy" until you're done with school, until you find the right job, until you're able to afford a place of your own, until until until.. leaves you with a bunch of empty yesterdays.  Yes, events happen, things take place, but life is all about joy and happiness, not about what you may or may not accomplish in a given career or university.  It's about growth and progress, and finding joy in the little aspects of life.  The hug from a co-worker, the smile from a stranger for no apparent reason, the quiet moments alone in which you feel comforted when you feel that no one is watching or that no one cares about you.  That is the great part of life.  

Dead Poets Society brings up an interesting way to go about life.  "Suck the marrow out of life."  That sentiment rings truer the more I ponder on it.  Don't do anything half-way.  Give it your all.  Enjoy your journey on this planet.  Take an active role in your own life, don't sit by passivley, letting your life just happen.  Seize the day!  

Figure out what it is you stand for, and then stand for it 100% of the time.  Don't compromise yourself for the good-standing in others' eyes.  Stand fast in your own evaluation of yourself, and in the Lord's evaluation of your life.  The only way to have a testimony of who you truly are, is to be someone, and not someone who constantly changes.  There is a quote that comes to mind that I can't think of whom it is attributed to: "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."  And don't procrastinate finding out who you are.  Yes it takes a lifetime to truly know who you are, but that doesn't mean it takes a lifetime to know who you want to be.  Seize the moment and become who you want to be, a person that will make God proud to call his son.  A person full of happiness and joy.  A person that loves others as well as himself.  A person that acts in situation as Christ would.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Power of Music

1 Nephi 15:11
"Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said? - If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you."

So, I have been pondering in my life for the last while about the power of music, and how it truly can influence a life.  I have, for the majority of my life, considered myself a connoisseur of music.  Selections from my favorite music over my lifetime have included Metallica, Eminem, Collective Soul, U2, Dashboard Confessional, Beatles, Beach Boys, Pink Floyd, Yanni, Enya, Jack Johnson... as well as Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart, Bach, etc.  As you can see, I have been influenced (and I do not use that word lightly) by many different musical artists, some more talented, and some more meaningful than others.  

In my pondering, I decided to ask myself: "If I am trying to be like Christ (as we are all admonished to do), what music should I be listening to?"  I immediately thought of musical artists such as Slipknot, Eminem, Metallica, Rolling Stones - and my mind being drawn to those artists should come to no surprise.  Obviously He wouldn't listen to such music.  But then as I thought harder about it, I came to the realization that the church and the gospel are things of action and things of constant spiritual reminders, and that the music that should be associated with such an organization, such a faith, should mirror its design.  So I thought to myself: "Should I only be eradicating the music that drives away the spirit?  Or should I also concern myself with music that doesn't necessarily offend the spirit, but at the same time doesn't facilitate it and uplift me?"  My mind then thought of Pink Floyd, Coldplay, Dave Matthews Band, Dashboard Confessional, Collective Soul, and more.  Would He, given the choice of what to turn on in the car, EVER choose a song that talking about "nothing," or would He choose music that uplifted the soul each and every time, without exception?

Music is so so powerful.  If you question that for a moment, next time you think of a song that you haven't heard in years, but still for some reason remember every single word... that truly shows the indelible power that music has in our hearts and minds.  Why is it that we can remember such songs, but we can't remember conference talks or sunday school lessons with such clarity?  There is simply something different about music, about song, and especially about music that praises Him.  (As well as degrading music, for Satan truly does use that to "carefully lead us down to captivity.")

That really didn't leave me with much music in my library.  (Well, I didn't delete most of this category.. I simply began not listening to it.)  So for the last 2 months or so, I have (given control of the music choice, ie when I'm in someone else's car, the music choice is obviously theirs) listened to nothing but the following, without exception:

EFY Soundtracks
Hymns
Classical Music (Chopin, Beethoven, Mozart etc)
101.1 FM
94.9 FM
Janice Kapp Perry
Jeff Goodrich
4ordained (and other such music groups)
Musicals (sparsely)

And after 2+ months of listening to nothing but music that uplifts the soul and facilitates the spirit, I can honestly say that I do not miss the music that I used to listen to.  Yes I will probably never forget the tunes and words to the songs that I used to listen to on a frequent basis, but that doesn't mean I have to facilitate that phenomenon.  

This leads me to another testimony-building aspect of my life throughout the last few months.  Callings truly are inspired.  I have 2 callings in my ward:  Ward Pianist and Choir Director (even though I can NOT sing! haha).  The music that I have chosen for our choir to sing has brought so much joy to my soul and has helped me feel the spirit.  We hold choir after church and usually finish about an hour after church ends, but I feel the spirit so strongly during choir practices that it truly feels as though I'm learning as much during that time period as I do during the normal 3-hour block of church.  And when I play the hymns during sacrament meeting, I have the unique opportunity to hear my entire ward sing praises to God, uninterrupted by my own voice.  Hearing that brings me such joy.  I know the vast majority of my ward by this point, and hearing them all sing in unison praises to the Lord, I wish more people got that opportunity!  I can't imagine another calling that I would enjoy as much as I do these 2.  


So I am formally challenging all who read this blog to try this for just one week.  Seven days.  That's not even 1/50th of a year of your life.  That's no time at all.  Try giving up listening to any music that doesn't actively praise God, any song that isn't written for the sole purpose of facilitating the spirit.  EFY music, Hymns, LDS music-groups, etc.  I promise it will be one of the more amazing weeks of your life.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Onward Christian Soldiers

1 Nephi 14:7
"For the time cometh, saith the Lamb of god, that I will work a great and a marvelous work among the children of men; a work which shall be everlasting, either on the one hand or on the other - either to the convincing of them unto peace and life eternal, or unto the deliverance of them to the hardness of their hearts and the blindness of their minds unto their being brought down into captivity, and also into destruction, both temporally and spiritually, according to the captivity of the devil, of which I have spoken."


Well, today, I did it.  Finally.  4 and a half years late, but better late than never.  I am now an Elder in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I have received the Melchizedek Priesthood.  There is no turning back now, my old life is now something that I can never revert back to, something that has helped develop me into the person I am today.  But that's all it is... a developing process (one that I honestly wish had not taken place, but it did, and all I can do is learn from it, no point asking "what if" questions.)  I am so blessed to have the parents that I have.  They are amazing examples to me of what it means to endure, to have faith, to rise from the ashes, to fight the good fight.  God certainly put me into this family for a reason.  His hand truly is apparent in all things, and I truly am thankful for His tender mercies and for never giving up on me.

I feel amazing.  This has been the best day of my life to this point.  I hope that there are still a handful of better days yet to come, and I am making a commitment to do everything I can do to allow God to work within me, to make those days happen, whenever they may.  I can't help but be reminded of my favorite scripture at this time:

Alma 7: 23-24
"And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.

And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works."


That is my personal motto for life.  I truly believe that a life that abides by the principles found in that scripture will be happy, successful, blessed, and fun! 

I also would like to thank all of my friends that have been amazing examples to me through these difficult years of my life.  I love you all and am so blessed to have the life that I have, to be surrounded by the people I am surrounded by.

And We Go

I thought it fitting to start this blog on the day that I chose to.  Mainly because I do believe I finally have become who I truly desire to be, and because tonight will kick off the first of many very important choices I will make along my journey through life - and what better time to start blogging about one's life than when all the really FUN stuff is about to start happening?

I am going to try to follow at least some semblance of a format as I "blog my life" as far as what I intend to include within my blog.  The first thing that I am going to attempt to continuously do within my blog is to write down a scripture from my daily (as I have committed to a daily routine) reading of the Book of Mormon (at least 1 chapter a day).  Not saying that I am going to base my post that day around the scripture of choice, but simply something that helps keep me accountable on 2 fronts.  1) My daily reading and 2) My daily blogging.  I figure who better to hold me accountable for those 2 things than my friends (those whom will be reading this blog).  

Anywho, I believe I have rambled on long enough, and so in the interest of the sense of "today" I will pretend that "today" is indeed Saturday and not Sunday - so I will choose a scripture from Saturday's reading.

I hope ya'll enjoy my blog.. or don't.. it's really up to you.  But I am going to try to make this blog a window into my life - as I have learned over the years that my life is one of which very few (if any) people on this planet can understand.  So hey, why not come along for the journey and see if you can make sense of something I'm still trying to understand myself!

1 Nephi 13:9
"And also for the praise of the world do they destroy the saints of God, and bring them down into captivity."

(I may choose to expound upon the scripture I chose to quote in the future, for whatever reasons I may have to do so.. but for today, I will simply let it speak for itself.  :)  )