Internal Movitavtion

Alma 60:23

"...Now I would that ye should remember that God has said that the inward vessel shall be cleansed first, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also."

This is such a true principle that is so hard for me to adhere to.  My inward vessel, my heart and my inward maturity, is what I must focus on cleansing before I can hope to cleanse or purify the rest of my being.  I can't expect my outward actions and deeds to be truly Christlike until my true intentions are what drive those Christlike actions as opposed to simply "knowing what I should be doing, and doing that despite my instincts desiring otherwise."  I believe that is what Christ means when he says that he will look upon my heart, upon judgment.  He will look at the true desires of my heart.  When that day comes, will he find charity there?  Will he find good intentions but a lack of true desire?  A wise man once noticed that the path to Hell is paved with good intentions.  It is very important to remember that good intentions are not enough to truly become a good person, it is the intentions married to the desires that produce a truly good person.

In my studies of psychology I have come to understand that there are two classifications of people (at least there is one way of classifying people that leads to a dichotomy): Internally motivated and externally motivated.  I am currently externally motivated.  I can only bring myself to accomplish things that are outside of my comfort zone if there is an externally motivating force, like my wife or my family or some reward.  I desire, above all/most, to become an internally motivated person.  I started telling myself this (again) last night while I was driving and covenanted with myself right there and then that I will never drive above the posted speed limit (knowingly) again.  Why?  Because that is the law and I strive to be a law-abiding citizen, because that is what Christ would be if he were experiencing mortality right now (so long as the law did not conflict with eternal principles such as how to properly observe the sabbath day).

Basically, I need to figure out who I am, who I want to be, and then combine the two.  Finally, I need to stick to the desires of my heart as they become more like Christ's desires.