"And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are changed through faith on his name; therefore, ye are born of him and have become his sons and his daughters."
"For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?"
So, thanks to me not having to work today, I made the most of my time off and had a wonderful day! A few of my friends came over to play some Rock Band, and then we went frisbee golfing. It was fairly muddy, and got dark before we could finish, but it was a blast and we had a lot of fun bonding. And then from there, we went to FHE. WOOHOO! I finally, after being in this ward for nearly a year, got to go to FHE. Seriously was the first time I had the opportunity to do so thanks to my working schedule. But I suppose that I can't complain because they have been so willing to give me Thursday nights off so that I don't have to miss institute, which I love. And I'm glad I got to go tonight, because even though I don't consdier myself a gossiper, we all are to some extent, and we could all use a self-examination in the way we talk about others. As you probably guessed, tonight's FHE lesson was on gossip.
As one of the missionaries tonight put it, "gossip is the first sign of self apostasy." That is so profound. The only reason people might gossip is because their heart is not in the right place, not the heart, or whatever else, of the person being spoken about. Gossip can come in all shapes and sizes. For example (using fictitous names and situations):
"Did you hear that Marsha is pregnant?"
"Look at what Steve is wearing to church, ugh."
"Did you hear that Brian took Stephanie out on Monday, and then Karlie out on Tuesday? What a player."
"Did you hear that Lindesy's husband can't seem to hold a job down? It's looking really bleak for them."
"I don't think he should be our Bishop, I've heard that his family life is in shambles."
"I heard that Mark was in jail not too long ago, you should probably be careful around him."
If you really take a moment to pause, and ponder, do those things not sound like a fairly normal part of a conversation? Yet every single one of those statements is designed to accent negative qualities, or assume negative things. Even if every single one of the statements presented is fact, it is still not our place to discuss them, let alone share an opinion. My opinion as to why (referring to the previous examples):
Marsha may be pregnant, but so what? It is not our business to spread that news around to others, those that need to know will undoubtedly know, and the person you are telling will either find out through normal means (Marsha or her family informing that person), or won't find out and her life will not be any more fulfilled or deprived because she did not know that fact.
Steve might not be wearing the most appropirate dress to church, but again, so what? That is between him and the Lord. He might not have a suit, or anything resembling a suit, and might not have the money to purchase such an outfit, or the means to acquire one. Now surely someone in the ward would be more than willing to loan him a suit or two until he is able to get one of his own. So, if that is the case, why not be that person, or help him find someone to loan him a suit that fits as opposed to saying negative, insulting comments about his current situation or appearance. It wouldn't be hard, or awkward depending on how you start the conversation, to find out the reason he is dressed the way he is dressed, withouth judging him.
Brian's story is a classic example of gossip. Does it really matter if Brian went on 2 dates with 2 different girls on back to back nights? No. It is simply idle conversation that has no value or worth to anyone, least of all the person you are telling. If someone were to say this to me, I hope that I would have the wherewithall to respond "So what? Mind your own business and stay out of his."
Maybe Lindsey's husband is going through a trial in his life and is doing everything he can to hold down a job, but the opportunity that is best for his family simply hasn't arrived yet. This statement, while on the surface seems like a friendly comment, has an underlying message. When the phrase "seem to" is used, it automatically is your opinion and is not fact. A better way to say this might be "Lindsey's husband hasn't been able to find a job yet, things look bleak, maybe there's something we can do to help." Is that not a much more valuable statement? That sentence shows much more love and kinship than the first example. I'll get back to that later.
A bishop's, or anyone else's, family life is none of our business. Again, this is a classic example of idle conversation that is intended to do nothing but break someone down, not to build them up. If the bishop's family life has any bearing on his ability to be your bishop, the church will take care of it, and even then, it is none of your business. That statement is not one of concern, but of accusation and judgement. A much more wholesome sentence might look like this: "I hear the bishop's family life is in shambles, I hope things turn out for the best, maybe we can take them some cookies to cheer them up." If you find yourself saying something negative, or even referring to a negative situtation (as the beginning of sentence number 2 starts), should we not find it within ourselves to help that situtation become a positive, or at least less of a negative, in whatever capactiy we are able?
Mark being in jail certainly was a terrible experience for him. And the statement about being careful around him may seem like good advice on the surface, because who knows if he can be trusted? But I'm glad I ended with this sentence, I think it sums everything up well. Mark may have done something terrible to deserve going to jail, or it might have been something small. Whatever put him there, it's over and done with and Mark is who Mark is. But if we treat Mark as though he's the same person that put him in jail, it will serve to do nothing but stunt his ability to change and to become a better person. A better way to talk about Mark might be: "I heard that Mark was in jail, we should extend a hand of friendship to let him know that he is still loved as a person and always welcome." Wow! What a different view on a person! If everyone did that, do you think Mark would be more apt to change his behavior for the better, as opposed to everyone avoiding him and judging him for something he did in the past?
Is that not one of the points of our existence here on earth? To lift eachother and to bear eachother's burdens? To extend hands of friendship and kindness and to have the image of Christ on our countenances? I didn't realize until know that the scripture I chose actually applies to this topic. The final sentence states: "For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?" How can we possibly know our master, our God, if our thoughts and the intents of our heart are far from his? God would never speak ill of those people, but instead would find any way He could of lifting them and bringing out the best in them despite what their current circumstance might be. So if we are not the same way, how can we expect to recognize someone that we don't serve. For if we are not that way, we are not serving God, but we are serving satan. Satan wants us to speak ill, or heck, even to speak idly of people, because that is how societies and groups start breaking down, from within.
I am by no means perfect on this topic, and I have much work to do. Probably more than I even realize. I hope that I can remember the things I have typed in this blog tonight on a day to day basis, I really might read this at the beginning of each day to help myself remember what a good perspective is versus an idle or a negative perspective. As Brother Elmer says, how do we "be ye therefore perfect?" By being just a little bit better each day, and having a lot of days.
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