Happiness is a choice
Everyone close your eyes, picture happiness, what do you see?
- Green fields
- Butterflies
- Clear sky
- Mother and Father
- Siblings
- Children
- On vacation
- At work
- In schools
- At the temple
- At church
- Taking the sacrament
- Praying
- Serving a mission
- Eternal life
- Singing, or playing a musical instrument
- Playing baseball, volleyball, basketball, or your sport of choice
- Hanging out with friends, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company
- Or maybe you’re not picturing any of these things, and that’s perfectly all right, Happiness is different for each person, and that is divine.
Keep your eyes closed, but I’m going to change this up a little bit, are you happy when you think of these things?
- Talking behind others’ backs
- Feel too lazy to help someone in their time of need
- Lie to someone
- Don’t work as hard as you could at your respective jobs
- Use language that you know Heavenly Father wouldn’t approve of
I don’t want to beat too long on the negative side of things, but I assume the difference between these 2 lists is obvious. There may not be an apparent difference in how we act or think when choosing things from these 2 lists to do, but I would go as far as to say that at one point in time throughout the day, we always recognize the effect such activities have on our spirit.
2 Nephi 2:25-27
“Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy.
“And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.
“Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”
Is not the purpose of this life to exercise our free agency and be able to stand before God at the judgment bar and say that we used our free agency for righteousness, and for the betterment of not only our standing, but for the betterment of the lives of those around us? It all centers on choice.
[Rainbows in Great-Grandma’s Bedroom] – Ray Goldrup
That’s the key. To be happy despite events that would otherwise make us sad, and to always think of others in nothing but a positive light. For we are all children of the same Heavenly Father, are we not all entitled to such a high estimation from our eternal siblings?
So, in my preparing for this talk, I thought about how one successfully chooses to be happy. And through much pondering and searching I came up with 6 things, I call them the 6 Keys to Eternal Happiness – and they are all centered on our own personal choices, and not the choices of others.
But before I read them, I want to pose 2 questions.
“Why is it that there are so many popular and wealthy people in this world that are not happy?
“Why are there numerous poor and physically-suffering people that are always smiling?
6 Keys to Happiness
- (Most important) Plan to be happy.
Alma 27:16-18
“And it came to pass that as Ammon was going forth into the land, that he and his brethren met Alma, over in the place of which has been spoken; and behold, this was a joyful meeting.
“Now the joy of Ammon was so great even that he was full; yea, he was swallowed up in the joy of his God, even to the exhausting of his strength; and he fell again to the earth.
“Now was not this exceeding joy? Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness.”
We must seek out happiness, for how can we obtain something that we aren’t looking for? We aren’t simply going to stumble across something that means that much to us. We must not only search for happiness, but we also must prepare our minds and our spirits so that when we do find something that makes us truly happy, we are able to receive it. George Burns once posed a question: “Am I living a life I love, and one that allows me to be happy?”
He didn’t ask “are things happening in my life that cause me to be happy? Are those around me dragging me out of my sorrow and lifting me up?” No, he focused on our own personal accountability for the way in which we view our own lives. We must plan to be happy; we must shape our own lives around things that make us, respectively, happy. These things that we must shape our lives around could be those things we imagined just a few moments ago. And that’s where happiness is different for each person. The things that make me happy aren’t necessarily the same things that make you happy, nor should they necessarily be. We all lead different lives and have different struggles, and therefore we all are inspired in different ways and we all have different ways of becoming happier people. That being said, one simple way to define a “happiness plan” is to do things we love to do, be with people we love to be with, and think things that uplift us – not things that drag us down.
- Become comfortable with yourself and who you are.
This is probably the hardest one of the 6, but it is so vital. We must come to an understanding of who we are. We ARE children of God, and therefore we are entitled to blessings and the comfort of the spirit. Can anything else bring more happiness than that?
It always amazes me when I see people get upset, truly and honestly upset, over things that really just do not matter. Many people raise their voices out of anger when their favorite team makes a dumb play, or when someone makes a degrading comment about them, for whatever reason. Those who react angrily to comments about them must not understand who they are. What cause do I have to take offense and continue an argument with someone who is insulting me? For I am a child of God, and therefore should understand that no matter what this person may think or say, God knows who I am, and He loves me, and that should be enough.
That bring me to a scripture in 3 Nephi 11:29-30:
“For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.
"Behold, this is not my doctrine to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.”
Do away with your anger towards others. Find within yourselves the ability to discern that which is worth bring upset about, as opposed to the small and insignificant irritants of your daily lives. I will expound more on this in key #6.
- Surround yourself with happy people, and partake in uplifting activities.
Do things such as read your scriptures, pray always, go to church, pay your tithing, listen to wholesome and uplifting music, spend time with your family as often as time permits, be active, and so forth. Now, if that is good advice, so apparently is the admonition to avoid the alternative.
4 Nephi 1:16
“And there were no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, no lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness; and surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.”
Really? Let me read that again. “There could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.” That includes everyone! Everyone on this world, as well as any world God may have ever created. The Nephites and Lamanites went through respective cycles of righteousness, as well as those of wickedness, but this moment in time, about 38 years after Christ appeared to them, they were so righteous and prosperous that they were doing better at being happy than anyone else, ever, in the history of the word ever. And what is remarkable about it is that it all stemmed from the choices they made. So let’s figure out what those choices were.
4 Nephi 1:15
“And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.”
The love of God. That is what we need to seek after, that is what we need to choose to have. And is not charity the pure love of Christ? That leads me to key #4.
- Serve Others.
It amazes me how this works. Whenever I am feeling down, or sad, or any negative emotion, the thing that helps to reverse that more than anything is to give unselfishly of myself, to serve whomever I can. Whether it be doing the dishes for my Mother, or giving someone a ride to church that doesn’t have another means of transportation, or mowing the yard for an elderly couple that has difficulty doing so, or even baking cookies or muffins for a family that might need a lifting of spirits. We cannot help but feel good about ourselves, and we cannot help but be happy when we unselfishly help another one of God’s children. Additionally, when we think on the problems other people have, our own problems seem less serious, and are less apt to affect us negatively.
We must always remember just how much we have to give to others; our knowledge, wisdom, experience, advice, our time, our strength, our laughter, our abilities to make other people smile, and so forth.
There is a common misconception about the order of things when it comes to happiness and action. Many people think it is logical that we act based on how we feel. That if we feel sad, we will sit about our house and not do much of anything, that if we feel energetic we’ll go outside and jog around the block, that if we feel happy we will find ourselves smiling and giving service. I disagree. I believe that it is actually the opposite.
We feel based on the way we act. If we want to be happy, then do things that make you happy, no matter what mood you may currently be in. If we want to be sad, then we will find ourselves avoiding things that make us happy, which seems completely odd to me. I can relate from personal experience, there have been times that I have been sad and sorrowful, and crying, and it doesn’t really matter what it was about. But I have distinct memories of pushing my family members away that were attempting to comfort me in my time of need. Why was I doing that? Why was I rejecting something that would make me happy? It’s because I desired to be sad, and I would not let myself make the choice to change my attitude at that specific point in time.
And that’s exactly what it is, our choice. We choose to act in ways that bring us happiness, or we choose to be sad and wallow in our own imperfections and shortcomings.
- Show gratitude.
You cannot help but be happy when you find yourself thanking someone for something they did. It goes completely against the nature of being thankful. Think about it, when you are thanking someone, are you frowning, or are you smiling? But we need to not only thank those around us; we also need to thank the Lord. We must count our blessings and in doing so we will realize just how much in our lives we have to be thankful for, no matter how sorrowful we may be at that moment in time. In fact, we are commanded to do so.
Alma 34:38
“That ye contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye receive it, and take upon you the name of Christ; that ye humble yourselves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you.”
Keeping things in perspective will truly show us that no matter how difficult our life may seem, or how rude some people may appear, we always have reason to be thankful, and reason enough to love. And that brings me to my final Key to Happiness.
- Have and maintain an Eternal perspective.
Alma 41:5-6 (Alma speaking to his son Corianton)
“The one raised to happiness according to his desires of happiness, or good; and the other to evil according to his desires of evil; for as he has desired to do evil all the day long even so shall he have his reward of evil when the night cometh.
“And so it is on the other hand. If he hath repented of his sins, and desired righteousness until the end of his days, even so he shall be rewarded unto righteousness.”
That scares me to death. That the level of happiness that I desire here on earth will be the same level of happiness I shall obtain in the world to come. If that is true, how can anyone be fooled into thinking that happiness isn’t our own decision? Why would God base such an eternal and everlasting principle on something that is not in our complete control? Our test in this life is to see how we will use our free agency, and to see what we will seek out given our own personal time and ability to choose. Yet, it is that very thing that will either lead us towards eternal happiness or eternal misery. We truly will have those things that we seek after, and the things that we desire.
Mosiah 2:41 (King Benjamin)
“And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.”
I want never-ending happiness! Who’s with me? The choice is ours. Just as I read in 2 Nephi, we are free to choose liberty and eternal life, or captivity and death, and the choice starts with our hearts.
So why is it that a poor man can be truly happy, while a wealthy man finds no comfort in his riches? There are 2 answers:
1) Because, to find happiness, you must make the choice to focus on others, instead of on yourself.
2) Because things of this world, things we leave behind when we die, are not the things that we should be choosing as our avenue of obtaining happiness. Those who truly understand who they are, and what awaits them in the kingdoms of glory after this life passes; those are the people that have zero reason to ever not be happy. They choose to keep their eternal perspective on life at the forefront of their mind, for when you know the Celestial Kingdom awaits you, what reason do you have to mope about the trials of today?
No comments:
Post a Comment