"And God did hear our cries and did answer our prayers; and we did go forth in his might..."
I often wonder how long I am going to keep this journal/blog going. I know what inspired it and the benefit it has had in my life, but I know that I can't do this every night.. forever! (Or can I?) It would have to be a GOOD reason, one that I would feel good about. Obviously if I went on a mission that would be a worthy reason. Would marriage suffice? I really don't know. I digress...
So, I have recently been VERY tempted to start gaming again, specifically an MMORPG. I logged into one that I used to play because I received a free week or so of game play, and a few of my gaming friends still play. I pretty much had myself convinced that I was going to return to gaming because I rationalized "I'm a different person now, I can do this in moderation." But then I got to thinking, and praying... Really? Can I? I'm not the type of person that, when I'm doing something I really enjoy, does it to anything less than the best of my abilities. The same goes with gaming, which is why at one point it controlled and took over my life. When it comes to gaming, I am a power gamer. Even on Rock Band, when the singing part doesn't really matter as far as the difficulty you play it on, I do expert simply for the challenge and because it just might be impressive to someone else (and to myself as well!). Single player games are slightly different, but that's not the issue at hand. When it comes to online games that numerous people play, simultaneously, and therefore compete against each other, the "uber leetness" comes out, even in the best of people. That's how they make their money and how they get people hooked. They create a setting that allows people to compete against eachother, and it just grows and builds from there.
So I finally realized, after telling myself that I could, then couldn't, then could, then couldn't, etc.. that even if I could, are there not better things I could do with my time? If I did play, I would most likely play past the hour I want to go to bed, it would interrupt conversations I may want to have with people, and it would most definitely get a higher priority than piano. Not playing in general, but I would put less time into getting better at the piano, which when I look back at, I enjoy those results far more than I do the results of my "gaming achievements."
Now, this is not to say that everyone that plays mmo's is wasting their time and should be using their time more productively, this is simply for me. I would much rather see myself study the scriptures and study the piano for 3 hours, versus playing a game that benefits me in no way considering the future. There are uplifting and inspiring activities we can participate in that benefit us for the long run that are enjoyable, and even moreso enjoyable when you consider the "long run."
It really is a choice between "acceptable/ok/good" and "better."
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